The Man Who Loves to Pee

Think of one little thing that gives you immense pleasure, one little thing. Got it? Did you think of something sexual? High five . . . but, I'm talking life's simplest pleasures. Maybe a certain candy bar, the Sunday paper or watching guys who have very feminine running forms go for a jog.

Whatever it is, realize this: It will never be as pleasurable as peeing is to one guy at my gym. I have never seen someone enjoy peeing so much. He walks up the urinal, uses one hand for the . . . well, you know what he uses one hand for, but the other hand he places on top of the barrier that separates his urinal from the next. He then leans his head back, looking up at the ceiling and lets out an audible, "Aaaaah." His gaze stays fixated on the ceiling the entire time and when he is done he takes one deep breath and flushes.

Okay, you have two thoughts right now:

1 - Wow, that is a satisfactory pee, and 2 - Does Newman watch other men go to the bathroom?! The answer to this is: no. This is knowledge I have obtained from going to the same gym for two years, often using the bathroom and slowly noticing these things over time, my mind slowly adding little bits of information almost subconsciously, like osmosis, observing without observing, oh, and from watching him pee.