The Last Two Seconds of Every Dance on Dancing With The Stars

A while ago, I blogged about my love of the first 60 seconds of every episode of Law & Order. There's always some characters who have nothing to do with the storyline who are just going about their business when they stumble upon a dead body or something. You're guaranteed to be entertained every time. This was my favorite little snippet of television until I discovered a new one: The last two seconds of every dance on Dancing With The Stars.

No matter which dance it is, every single one ends with either the music fading out or coming to a cold stop and a solid two seconds of slow motion embracing. 9 times out of 10 I am SURE they are gonna hook up (and the other time's it was Buzz Aldrin.) Sometimes the dances are so intimate I think they're going to be like, "Forget it, I want you so bad, and then just make out right there on the dance floor.

While I like this every single time, I think I have a favorite last two seconds ever, and it happened last night with Kyle Massey. Here's the clip (click play now and you can finish reading while it loads, there's a lot of megabytes of dance moves to load.) (By the way, I have no idea if "megabytes" was the right word to use there.)

So, as the dance ends, Lacey has her leg over Kyle's shoulder, and for their slow sensual conclusion he just seems to sniff her leg. It was like he had this weird fetish for calves and ankles.

Dancing With The Stars Predictions

The new cast of Dancing with the Stars was revealed last night, and just like in years past there are some common themes: One has questionable dance experience (Jennifer Grey), one has achieved a level of success in sports that makes you question their desire to be on the show (Kurt Warner) and none of them are considered stars by Wade.

While, they may not all be stars, let's just accept the cast and start making our predictions. Here is the order in which I believed they will be eliminated:

1. Margaret Cho - First to go. Like her jokes, her dancing is awful and slightly offensive.
2. Kurt Warner - Only room for one athlete, and I think Rick Fox sticks around longer.
3. Audrina Patridge - Congrats on getting the third most popular Hills star, but she's getting the boot quick.
4. Bristol Palin - The curiosity of her being the show wears off and she gets sent packing back to Alaska (which is right next to Russia.)
5. Jennifer Grey - Her dancing skill-set was just not as good as voters thought. See ya.
6. Florence Henderson - Flo-Rida as I call her, makes it about as far as anyone would expect and is sent home mid-season.
7. Rick Fox - Not as good as athletes in the past but makes it decently far.
8. David Hasselhof - Germans finally get sick of using all of their long distance minutes.
9. Kyle Massey - I don't know who this person is, but that usually bods well for them (See: Helio Castroneves)
10. Michael Bolton - Almost makes it to the final two but just gets beaten out.
11. Brandy - Just falls short of taking home the mirror ball trophy; releases new single following week.
12. CHAMPION: The Situation - Honestly, this was an easy pick. Here's a guy that goes to battle every time he steps foot on a dance floor, I mean, he calls it The Battlefield. Plus, imagine if there is a house music week. The Situation takes home the trophy along with 3 of the professional dancers and Florence Henderson