I Think I Was Wrong About Justin Bieber

I've never claimed to be a huge Justin Bieber fan. I've got nothing against the kid but I just thought he was some music industry creation with goofy hair (not unlike Lou Bega - he was a robot). I was fairly certain he would fizzle out by now (but to be fair I also spent tons of money on Pogs because I thought they would be valuable - I'm not good at predicting things). However, after watching Conan last night I think I am a Belieber. The kid is kinda funny! He does a pretty good impression of Obama and when Conan says, "That was a good impression," he responds with a humorous, "I sound just like him." I think Justin Bieber is kinda cool (and I know cool). But seriously, please cut your hair.

Most Fascinating People of 2010

Barbara Walters has released the first eight names in her 10 Most Fascinating People list. So far we know: Sandra Bullock, Betty White, Kate Middleton, Jennifer Lopez, Justin Bieber, Sarah Palin, LeBron James, and the cast of Jersey Shore.

Now if my math is correct Babs still has -7 names to go, seeing has how the cast of Jersey Shore is not an individual, but assuming she is not pulling one of her legendary pranks (?) she's got two left.

So, let's try to guess who else could be on it. Here are my thoughts:

• Bristol Palin - Sarah would be the safer Palin choice, but I think the Dancing With The Stars stint put Bristol's name out there. Long-shot, but she might just Texas Two-Step her way onto the list (awkwardly).

• Barbara Walters - How mind-blowlingly awesome would this be? She puts herself on her own list in the ultimate egotastic (Sarah Palin understood it) move ever. Plus, how hilarious would it be if she interviewed herself and just kept switching between seats and spoke half the time with a slightly deeper voice!?

• Jane Lynch - People might watch Glee for the music, but even I, someone who doesn't care for the show, has to admit she is pretty great as Sue Sylvester.

• Pat McAfee - McAfee is the punter for the Indianapolis Colts. Now here me out - Earlier this year Pat McAfee got drunk and jumped in the Indianapolis' Central Canal at 4 in the morning. He then got out and tried to get in someone's car with them for a ride home. When the cops showed, up a soaking wet McAfee responded to the question, "How much have you had to drink tonight?" with a hilarious, "A lot - because I'm drunk." To add to this, my friends and I used to heckle Pat McAfee relentlessly when he played at West Virginia and they traveled to Rutgers. I have little doubt our incessant put-downs played a key role in this incident.

My One Issue With Justin Bieber

Ok, so, I have an issue with Justin Bieber.

Oh look, two new death threat emails! Eat your heart out Kim Kardashian.

Now, before you go crazy on me Bieber Fans, let me explain. It's not his talent level, his stardom or the fact that he most likely owns a nicer car than I do despite his inability to drive, no, it's his hair. I NEED to comb it!

Did you ever miss a phone call while you're watching TV? You decide to check who called after the show is over, but in reality, you can't pay attention to the show anymore because you HAVE to go and see who it was? Well, that's how I feel about Justin Bieber's hair. (Possible worst analogy ever)

Kind of like how your mom used to lick her hand and straighten out your hair, that's what I want to do to Justin Bieber (minus actually putting my licked in another man's hair.) Is this quasi-A.D.D.? Maybe, but I just can't watch a video with him without needing to clear it from his face. Here is an example of what I hear when he sings (the monotonous voice in my head is in parentheses):

And now I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo (please fix your hair)
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo (it's driving me insane)
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo (how do you go swimming?)
I thought you'd always be mine (mine) (just one meet-and-great and a pair of clippers, that's all I need)