I Got Your Digits

Since, we are fairly deep into season 9 of American Idol and apparently no one has mentioned this yet to the contestants, I guess I will:

You know those hand gestures you do to show us the number to call, yeah, your number's already on the screen.

I'm just letting you know this because it is kind of pointlessly redundant, and, unless you raise your hands to your forehead (encouraged for hilarity), they are blocked by the phone number graphic anyway. Sure it's kind of cute when you are number "1" and it looks like you are cheering yourself on, but when you're number "8" and trying to hold a microphone it looks like you're flashing a gang symbol. See that, you're gonna kill somebody.

Here's an idea of something you could do when you're standing there as Seacrest reads your number: Slam the microphone down, hope for feedback and yell, "Thank you Los Angeles!" Nobody has done that before (in fact, I don't think anyone has done that since the 80's.) You'd get my vote (figure of speech, not my actual vote, I don't care enough to call in.) Other ideas include: A hilarious dance move, goofy face, pat Ryan on the head (only works if you are taller than Ryan, in other words, it works) or that move where it looks like you remove your thumb and put it back on.

Not You Too Top Chef!

Almost every single reality TV show can be boiled down to one thing people really seem to care about: Who's hooking up? This obviously started with The Real World, where the only thing people wanted to know was which cast members were getting it on (and, eventually, will Ruthie die?) Think about it. Almost every reality show. Take American Idol. Sure, the premise of the show is who is the best singer, but David Cook can't do an interview without being asked about former contestant (girlfriend?) Kimberly Caldwell, viewers talk about whether Simon really has a thing for some of the female contestants, or a thing for Seacrest? This whole premise spawned shows like Rock of Love with Brett Michaels, where Brett hooks up with contestants/hookers in hopes of finding a keeper who he'll dump approximately one week after the show ends, and Flavor of Love and so on, there are tons.

My favorite reality competition show is Top Chef, a show about chefs competiting to be crowned champion. Nothing sexual. Until this season at least. Last night Top Chef aired a reunion show. Really, a reunion show? This isn't The Bachelor. A reunion show where one of the first questions covered was about Hosea and Leah kissing. Unless they are opening a restaurant together, that is not something I care about. Um, what about "Hosea, when are you opening a restaurant?" Or, "Who made the best dish you guys tasted?" I watch the show to see the food they make, not whether they are dining on each other's tongues.