Friday, December 2, 2011

My Blog Has Moved!

My blog has moved! Don't worry, you can still find my posts and awesome pieces of clip-art here:


Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Was This a Mistake?

I decided to join the World's Largest Secret Santa yesterday (it's run through and needless to say, I am very excited. How it works is you get sent the name, address and profile of another Reddit user and you have to send that person a gift. It can be anything, no price limit, but you try to tailor it to their interests. Of course in return another user gets your info and sends you a gift.

Now, I love gifts. They are like in my Top 3 Things of All-Time (the other two being the love of another human being and Pop Rocks). I love surprises so much that I didn't even fill out a profile, I simple wrote, "Surprise me!"

Like an anxious little boy I ran home to tell my wife . . . wait, that would be weird if a little boy had a wife unless it was ancient times when kids were married off super young (*not sure that's factual). Get this - My wife was upset that I did this! She thought was stupid for sending a random person on the internet our address and allowing them to send us something. I assured her that this only sounded dangerous now that she was saying it. But seriously, how is it any different than buying something off ebay or using Craigslist? People can get our address if they wanted.

Was doing this online secret Santa a mistake?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Newman Endorses 11/17/11

Newman Endorses : Pink Starbursts

When I opened a 2-pack of Starburts the other day I was shocked and appalled by what I found. Namely, this:

Seriously, Starburst? Is this some sort of practical joke? Two yellows? Needless to say this was the worst moment of my life. Nobody wants the yellow ones. I feel I am owed some sort of retribution from the Starburst company. To be more exact, I feel I am owed an entire box of the pink ones.

That's why I would like to take this moment to endorse pink Starbursts. They are so far superior to all the other flavors it's laughable. Seriously, I just laughed thinking about it. Sometimes I'll offer a friend a Starburst and they'll take a pink one; that person will no longer be my friend (because they'll be dead). The red ones come in second place but I can easily part with one for my compadres. Pink, no way.

So, the ball is in your court Starburst to right this atrocity. You can contact me to discuss details (my address, estimated time of arrival, your decision to produce "Tropical") through email:

Monday, November 7, 2011

Newman Endorses 11/7/11

Newman Endorses: Green Tea with Lemon, Honey, Ginger and a Cinnamon Stick

I want to thank everyone for the well wishes I received over the last week or so. I literally got millions. I was out with some sort of viral infection that would have killed a lesser man. The worst was the sore throat I had as a result of the infection. I downed about 3 bags of Halls cough drops over the course of the week. Is this safe? I have no idea. While they worked, when given the chance I turned to this little recipe.

To ease the pain of a sore throat, I make some green tea and add a buttload of honey, a cinnamon stick, a little piece of ginger and a touch of lemon. It works wonderfully. Just try it. Seriously! Go and contract an illness and give it a whirl!

Monday, October 31, 2011

Newman Endorses 10/31/11

This is my new blog feature. Each week I will be endorsing something. These will be things I like and they can be literally anything. I would love your thoughts. Are the things I'm endorsing overrated? Is there something similar that is better? I'd like to know.

Newman Endorses: Charleston Chews

It came to my attention on the show this morning that Charleston Chews are not universally loved. This was - to put it lightly - horrifically shocking!

Who doesn't like Charleston Chews? (Besides dentists.) I grew up on them at the Holmdel Swim Club snack bar during adult swim. I'd cash 2 or 3 of them in a day. Let me put it this way, if they were vegetables, I would've been the healthiest kid ever. When I was in the mood for something more "desserty" I'd pull one from my freezer. Yeah, they are great frozen too! Take that Milky Way! (To be honest, I've never had a frozen Milky Way bar and now that I'm mentioning it, it sounds fairly incredible.)

When I found out Chris and Company (new name I'm pitching for the show) were not fans of Charleston Chews I felt it would be the perfect choice for the first installment of Newman Endorses.

What do you think? Do Charleston Chews get your endorsement too?

Oh, and if it wasn't obvious, we're basing this off the vanilla ones. Maybe the rest of Chris and Company were thinking of the strawberry ones.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

LeSean McCoy's Autograph Up For Grabs! (Rules Apply)

As you may be aware, Dave and I host The PST Bud Light Players' Suite Monday nights at Chickie's and Pete's in Bordentown. We have a player from the Eagles join us each week as we chat about the last Eagles game, pop culture and the pro's and con's of crab fries (Pro - Deliciousness, Con - Availability at other establishments).

Yesterday we were joined by LeSean "Shady" McCoy - Eagles star running back and leader of my fantasy football team (we're 4-3 right now but those losses are squarely on the shoulders of one Felix Jones). Last night Shady's agent asked him to sign a picture for Dave and me to have in the office here. When he said to make one out to Dave and Newman apparently Shady heard, "Sign one for Dave Newton."

So guess what Dave Newton's of the world, today's your lucky day. I have one autographed LeSean McCoy glossy signed specifically for you (well, not "specifically"). You need to prove to me two things - 1) That your name is "Dave Newton" and 2) That your an Eagles fan. If you're wondering if can score the autograph because you're an Eagles fan but not named "Dave Newton" the answer is "No" (sorry). If you're wondering if you can score the autograph because your name is Dave Newton but you're a Giants fan the answer is once again "No."

If you meet these criteria and would like the signed pic, email me (I will also give you a shout-out on air though this hasn't been discussed with management yet and could very well be shot down).

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I Need Apps

Since dropping a decent amount of cash on the iPhone 4s I have spent my days annoying Siri, taking hipster-esque photos and disregarding the world outside of the 4" screen. Don't tell my wife, but if I could get married again, I'd marry the iPhone 4s. Seriously! I know most states are still debating gay marriage, but can a man marry an electronic device? If so, how am I going to break the news to my PS3 that I've found someone else? Check out this hipster picture I took with the app "Camera+"

I mean, I have zero photo skills and this thing looks like it was taken by (insert famous photographer cause I can't think of one)!

So, I'm now on a quest to find fun new apps. What should I get?