Monday, October 26, 2009

Katie Couric

If you missed the story this morning about me meeting Katie Couric this weekend, here is the quick recap: She wants me.

Ok, that is the really quick (and completely untrue) recap. Here's what happened: Christine and I went out with a friend to a small little restaurant in NYC where you are just about sitting on top of the other patrons. We sit down and I get the booth-type seat which I squeeze into. The tables are so close I actually have to move them apart to get in. After we enjoy a glass of wine and some apps (I call appetizers "apps" so I can lead into my joke where I tell the waitress the wine I want to pair the food with and ask, "Is there an app for that?" . . . It's not funny) a group sits down next to us. Who in this group sits right next to me but Katie Couric. What I want to present to you now are the reasons I think Katie Couric has a crush on me:

  1. When her group of people sat down next to us they had moved from another table they were at. Sure, they could have moved because the people sitting next to her wouldn't let her eat in peace, the table wasn't big enough, it was next to the kitchen, OR, and perhaps more likely, she wanted to sit next to me.

  2. When I had to squeeze out from between the tables to get to the bathroom my butt brushed up against her. Now, I was pretty sure I had plenty of clearance, plus I lack any sort of real butt, so I can only assume she leaned into me in an attempt to get closer to me.

  3. While I was squeezing between the tables she struck up a convo (I call conversations "Convo's" because I'm an idiot.) Small talk mostly but there was a vibe.

  4. As I finally got out between the tables she said, "Oh, you can get through you're skinny." Complementing my figure. Checkmate.
Side note to this story:
  1. Katie Couric did not actually hit on me and was actually very nice.


Wendy McClure said...

You really are too much...very funny story.

Toni Ryan said...

yeah, i often use that line on guys... "hey you're SKINNY." i find though this doesn't work on morbidly obese men. maybe this is why guys say i'm a sarcastic bitch. hey for the record, i think couric was totally trying to pounce on you, she's a renowned homewrecking cougar.