The Next Advance In Festival Food

Hope you guys had a good time at Freedom Festival this past weekend! I had an awesome time - until I found out the US lost the soccer match that was going on while I was there, at which point I became irate and slapped multiple people.

The single, best thing about a festival is the food. Walking through a festival is like walking by a Cinnabon - you simply can't resist getting something to eat. Funnel cakes, sausage sandwiches, butterfly fries - I'll take one of everything. Now, over the past few years, there have been major advances in the awesomeness of the food at these summer festivals. It started with the arrival with the deep fried oreo; a groundbreaking discovery that forever changed the course of the American Summer - like baseball or the release of the Sisqo hit The Thong Song.

The next steps were fairly obvious, "Let's deep fry more snacks," and so came along the deep fried Twinkie, the deep fried snickers and many more. After, this random, fringe deep fried items popped up that never took off throughout the country (See: Deep Fried Coke). Then . . . we've stalled. There has been a lull; what's the next step?

I believe I have the next advance in festival food, and it will revolutionize America, in that it will make us even fatter: The Deep Fried Option. Yes, much like getting asked if you'd like fries with that, at fairs across the country you will now be asked, "You want that deep fried?" All the vendors have to do is have some frying batter and a deep fryer, and will, anything is possible.

I'll have a hot dog.

Sure, you want that deep fried?

Um, hell yes I do?!