People Who Cross on a Diagonal

There are times when I stop and think - I am a little, angry man. This is one of those times.

I am going to guess this doesn't bother many people, but it is a new pet peeve of mine: People who cross on a diagonal.

Say you're going to the grocery store to purchase your weekly supply of Fiber One cereal organic strawberry preserves (assumed) and while going to find a spot, you slow down for some people crossing the street in front of the store. You let them go because they are elderly and therefore only worth 2 points, but instead of crossing in the crosswalk they walk diagonally. OH NO, STUFF IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN!!

I hate it when people cross on a diagonal! I am fully aware I sound like a crotchety old man, yelling at kids on his lawn, but for some reason this bugs me, as do kids on my lawn. (Sidenote: Crotchety would be better if it meant someone with a large crotch. Not "you know" but the whole crotch area. "Steve's so crotchety. Where does he even buy pants?" It would be funnier, but much less useful.) You have added a solid 5-10 seconds to your walking time. For a seemingly petty crime, I am in full support of ticketing . . .NAY, life imprisonment, for jaywalking. Instead of your diagonal pattern you should be doing the "L," where you cross and then walk horizontally until you get to your row.

So: Angry little man OR Time-Saving Freedom Fighter?