Thursday, November 17, 2011

Newman Endorses 11/17/11

Newman Endorses : Pink Starbursts

When I opened a 2-pack of Starburts the other day I was shocked and appalled by what I found. Namely, this:

Seriously, Starburst? Is this some sort of practical joke? Two yellows? Needless to say this was the worst moment of my life. Nobody wants the yellow ones. I feel I am owed some sort of retribution from the Starburst company. To be more exact, I feel I am owed an entire box of the pink ones.

That's why I would like to take this moment to endorse pink Starbursts. They are so far superior to all the other flavors it's laughable. Seriously, I just laughed thinking about it. Sometimes I'll offer a friend a Starburst and they'll take a pink one; that person will no longer be my friend (because they'll be dead). The red ones come in second place but I can easily part with one for my compadres. Pink, no way.

So, the ball is in your court Starburst to right this atrocity. You can contact me to discuss details (my address, estimated time of arrival, your decision to produce "Tropical") through email:


Anonymous said...

YELLOWS ARE THE BEST! Actually, it's the pink ones I can't stand, I think they are totally gross :)

Anonymous said...

You know you can buy the "FaveREDS" package and it only has the strawberry, watermelon, cherry and fruitpunch in it NO YELLOWS at all