A Letter To My Car Horn

Dear Car Horn,

I hate you. You know why? You're not loyal. When I don't really need you, like to honk at a friend who is walking by, I can find you easily, I just press the center of my steering wheel. However, when I really need you the most, like when some jerkface cuts me off and almost causes a pile-up, you are no where to be found. I slam my hand on the center of the wheel and . . . nothing. Apparently you have decided to move while I was not looking. All of a sudden I have to hit a small button off to the side to get you to work. Do you think this is funny? You should do stand up car horn with all your hilarious pranks! Do it again and I'm getting you changed to play La Cucaracha, good luck picking up chicks like that.

Love, Newman (Your owner . . . don't forget that)