Goin' Country

With all the financial pressure these days of securing a stable future, it has become clear to me that I must find a way to supplement my income, and there is obviously only one way I can do this . . . release a country album. You see, releasing a country album is the easiest, most surefire way to make some extra cash. Are you guaranteed superstardom? No. But at worst it will debut in the Billboard Top 10, unless The Jonas Brothers release 10 albums the same week (By the way, if The Jonas Brothers released a CD of Miley Cyrus covers, would it not shatter sales records and, perhaps, cure global warming?)

News today was that Jamie Lynn Spears, sister of Britney Spears, would be recording a country album, following in the footsteps of Jessica Simpson, Jullianne Hough and others. Brilliant! If your career is declining, or you don't yet have a career, which would be me, this will no doubt skyrocket you to minor-to-mid level fame, and you know what comes with fame - money, and you know what comes with money - ANYTHING YOU WANT, including love, despite what you may have heard. Why does this only work with country music? Not a clue. . .but the bottomline is - It does, and like I always say, "Record Country Music CDs First, Ask Questions Later," I must say that like eight or nine times a day.

I already have my country artist name picked out, it's Garth Brooks. I hope it's not taken.