I Got Plaque In My Eye

In one of the most bizarre moments in my life I yesterday got plaque on my eyeball.

Let me take you back to the beginning of the evening - Memento style (Memento is a movie, which, had you seen, you would get that reference, if you have not, you won't and will also need to stop reading and go rent it.)

I sat down for a wonderful dinner with my wife. I made Paella (which is spanish for Delicious) and if you aren't familiar with it, it could really be summed up as Crap In a Pan (not crap - bad food, but crap - random food . . . and definitely not crap - literal food, which is more disgusting than the story I am about to tell you.) This Paella had rice, sausage, tomatoes, a bunch of herbs and other various foods, any of which could have been the culprit in partially blinding me.

After eating this delicious Paella (I'll hook you up with the recipe if you want) and watching a rerun of Bones, I decided it was best I go brush my teeth. Before I brush, I always floss (because, according to my dentist, not flossing is worse than being a Nazi) and this is where the trouble began. While, flossing between my central and lateral incisors (what did I just say, I blacked out?) I pulled the floss string taut, and in doing so, shot a piece of tartar from between my teeth up into my eye!

This is not a joke.

I flushed my eye, but it still hurts and is red. Can I just squeeze some Crest in there? Should I call Ben Stein? Wow. . .I don't know what to do.