A Word About Snow Days

Much like frozen pizza and Major League Chew bubble gum, snow days are only exciting when you are a kid. Is it pretty? Yes. Does it make me run to the window at the first flake and yell, "SNOW!!!!"? No. It used to though. When you were in school, it was almost a competition to see who could spot the first signs of a snow fall and announce it, quite loudly, to the class. In fact, at no point in time was it ok to interrupt the teacher mid-lecture, UNLESS it was snowing, when I actually think it was encouraged. Everyone would then proceed to go crazy, sometimes the teachers as well. If you want to know what the Apocalypse will look like, peer into a fifth grade class when it is starting to snow . . . mass hysteria. When it was nighttime and it started to snow, you would literally pray for enough to cancel the next day. Not one of those fake prayers where you think, "Hey, it can't hurt," no, an all-out, I will put an IV of broccoli into my veins if I don't have to go to school tomorrow prayer. Even a delayed opening was cause for celebration. You'd get up and realize what crap was on TV when people where at school and work. . . AND LOVE IT! Snow was awesome.

Not any more. Now, I don't yell, "SNOW," I mumble and grumble it as I wonder how long it will take me to clean off my car. In fact, if someone yells "SNOW" now I immediately round-house kick them. Drastic? Yes. Warranted? . . . well, frankly, no. I no longer pray for snow (I do pray for hail, because then when people ask me, "Is that hail?" I respond "Hail yeah it is," and I chuckle.) No, these days snow days have lost their luster, just like my childhood innocence (cue somber piano and fading sunset.)