Friday, February 27, 2009

My (Fake) Interview With Randy Jackson

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with American Idol judge, Randy Jackson. Being my favorite judge on Idol, I was looking forward to asking him about America's most popular TV show. Unfortunately, I was left with few answers and perhaps a worse understanding of the English language. Here is the (fake) transcript of the interview:

Newman: Randy Jackson, thanks so much for taking the time.

Randy: What's going down, baby?

Newman: Um, nothing, nothing is going down. What's going down with you?

Randy: American Idol season 8, WHAT!

Newman: Yes, exciting, I'm looking forward to a good season. What do you think about this season's crop of singers.

Randy: Listen, baby, SEASON 8 IS BLAZIN' MOLTEN LAVA HOT!!

Newman: Wow, that is quite hot. Who are you most excited about?

Randy: Dawg, Season 8, I don't know, WHAT!

Newman: Why are you yelling?

Randy: The dawg's always excited, baby!

Newman: Um, ok, also, I feel uncomfortable with you calling me "Baby" if you wouldn't mind stopping that.

Randy: (Pointing at camera that does not exist) I like this one! We got a hot one right here!

Newman: Are you hitting on me?

Randy: Listen, we got some singers who can blow it out the box this season!

Newman: I'm sorry, I don't know what that means.

Randy: Blow it out the box, WHAT!

Newman: What box?

Randy: Listen, these cats can really blow. Season 8, gonna be hot!

Newman: Well I am looking forward to it. Thanks for coming by.

Randy: (Sucking in air between his closed teeth, like he is about to break bad news) I don't know dawg, this interview was just aight with me, kinda pitchy in spots. . . Paula?

Newman: Um, Paula isn't here, and how can an interview be 'Pitchy?'

Randy: Season 8 WHAT!

Newman: Goodbye, Mr. Jackson.

1 comment:

Toni Ryan said...

no, no i'm pretty that is an accurate transcript. i think i was there, and that's exactly how it went.

A-newm Dawg! That's your new name.

(no offense or anything, but the interview was a wee bit pitchy. i have good pitch, i would know.)