Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Professional Football Players Make Great Car Salesmen

Most people in life get blessed with the ability to be really good at one thing. Most people, if they are able to find it, can excel at something more-so than 99% of the population. Some people however, are able to be really, really good at more than one thing (ie. Bo Jackson . . . If I recall correctly Bo knew many things, including how to ruin a commercial.) This is most evident in professional football players. Every single NFL player has the innate ability to sell cars. Not only are NFL players the cream of the crop in their sport they can also see you in a brand new Mitsubishi. This is perplexing. You would think after years of playing a sport where you are continuously being hit, the ability to make a solid sales pitch on a $20,000 investment would be tricky.

When you retire from the NFL you have a couple of options: Go on Dancing With The Stars (Jerry Rice, Emmit Smith, etc), sell Isotoner Gloves (Dan Marino) or own a car dealership (everyone else). So, these freak athletes are not only born with great hands and agility, they are also born with embedded knowledge of rack and pinion steering and antilock brakes. So, to these superhumans I say congratulations, while many people struggle to find their one calling in life you know that when your knees give out and your NFL career comes to an end you can still put someone in a new SUV with little or no money down.

*Note: This applies only to American football players not soccer (footballers) players . . . who are also good at bedding Spice Girls.

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