Thursday, January 28, 2010

Hold Your Applause

When I graduated from college there were thousands of other people graduating with me. As they began to read the names of the graduates, the dean calmly asked all those in attendance to hold their applause until the end. The reason for this was simple, we were going to be doing this for a while as is, so let's not elongate the process (plus, it could turn into a popularity contest where each student would be judged by the amount of clapping he/she received, weeding out the unpopular kids - which is why I brought a boombox and cassette tape of chants and cheers.) While graduation was long, it was not nearly as long as it would have been if the dean had to wait for the applause to die down after each name before reading the next.

This is a lesson Nancy Pelosi, the senate members and everyone else in attendance at last night's State of the Union address. I'm all for the creation of jobs, some amount of healthcare reform and the Saints winning the Super Bowl (pretty sure he addressed this) but maybe, just maybe we could hold the applause until the end. Last night's speech was more drawn out than an American Idol results show.

Seriously, every 5 seconds the crowd would stand and cheer then sit back down and do it again in 5 more seconds. It was more of a workout than going to church. Obama could have tricked them like a game of Simon Says if he wants, "We're going to create jobs! (APPLAUSE!) . . . And, we're going to bring home troops (APPLAUSE!) . . . And, we're going to bring back SARS! (APPLAU. . .Wait, what?)

Maybe we could just have a light up "Applause" sign like they do on late night talk shows, and Obama can just hit it when he wants some cheers (much like Jay Leno does so you know when he is telling a joke.)

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