New Year's Resolution Time

Now, that I've put down the bottle of champagne and removed my ridiculous $1 top-hat, it's time to get down to some serious business here in 2010. While, I don't necessarily come up with resolutions, I do come up with some goals on things I would like to accomplish in the new year. Instead of an open-ended resolution, these goals have finite endings. They are as follows:

1. Prove Taylor Swift is a Robot - I know it and you know it - Taylor Swift is a robot. She's all like, "I'm Taylor Swift and I'm so sweet, and innocent and perfect," Well, guess what, I'm not buying it. Taylor Swift was created by the recording industry to garner huge sales and not have to give her a profit (because she's a robot.) Question: Have you ever seen Taylor Swift get a bucket of water poured on her? No. . .because she'd rust.
2. Realize My Dream of Playing in the NFL - Admittedly, this one is going to be kind of tough. I lack both the size and football "skill" needed to play in the NFL. In fact, I have not played organized football in my entire life, something I would have to guess is somewhat uncommon amongst NFL players. This did not stop Rudy and it will not stop me (Correct, Rudy did not play in the NFL. And yes, he only played one play in college. And yes, he played High School ball. Conclusion - Rudy is a failure.)
3. Determine Whether Owl City and The Postal Service are the Same Band - I am sure you have hear Owl City's hit Fireflies on PST. For the first two months I heard this song I was confused because I am 100% sure the song is song by a band called The Postal Service. Take a minute and listen to both bands here Owl City and The Postal Service.
4. Grow Taller - Possibly tougher than playing in the NFL but never the less, on my list.
5. Eliminate Fake Friends - I have a plan to get rid of friends that are just friends online in an attempt to streamline my life. I will change my birthday on Facebook, and whoever wishes me a happy birthday on this fake birthday will be defriended.
6. Buy a Flying Car - Take a note politicians of the world, you are not the only ones who can over-promise and under-deliver, so can our collective imagination. Years ago we pictured what the year 2000 would be like and we seemed to have come to a consensus. We may not have known what the world would look like, whether we'd have robotic maids or not, but we were sure we'd have one thing: flying cars. Flying cars have become the benchmark for knowing when the future has arrived. Well, it's 2010 and I'm still waiting.
7. Earn More than the $1 Million I Earned Last Year
8. Stop Lying