Monday, May 3, 2010

You've Got To Warn Me

There are two types of people in this world: Those who eat their pizza crust and those who don't. I am a crust-eater, my wife is not.

This is actually the ideal relationship. If you two crust-eaters are married, well then, each gets their own crust and that is that. If two non-eaters are married, well, let's just hope a starving African child never stares into your window. However, when an eater and a non-eater are married things are wonderfully. I get my pizza, my crust AND my wife's crust! Which would be perfect if my wife would just remember that I will always eat her crust.

After finishing off a pizza the other day for dinner, I glanced at my wife's plate, as I always do and started to eat her leftover crust. Now, the last piece of crust happened to be under her napkin (my wife signifies the end of her meal by throwing in the literal towel.) So, I reached under the napkin, grabbed the pizza crust and ate it. While chewing Christine turns to me and says, "I blew my nose in that napkin."

AAAHHHHHHHHH!!! I began dry-heaving and spitting food everywhere. Overreaction? Perhaps, but call me crazy, but I don't care for booger-pizza (booger burgers? Another story!!)

1 comment:

Toni Ryan said...

i also find that there are two types of people in this world: the ones that'll eat food that's come in contact with bodily waste, and those that won't. i'm category 2. i'm also attracted to category 2 types only.

what about this, i'll eat crust, but only if it's good and not too chewy. am i a bad person?