The Day After

If you were unaware, we had a pretty major power outage here at PST yesterday. I am happy to report that there were no casualties! The lights flickered and went out around 10am yesterday, and when they did, my thoughts immediately turned to our most pressing issue - Vampires.

Lights out, people trapped inside a locked building - prime vampire opportunity. I sprang into action and grabbed my emergency flashlight and garlic necklace and ran into the hallway. The flashlight was an electric one so it was of no use- solid Polish joke - and no one seemed to be worried about an impending attack, they appeared preoccupied with the lack of working computers and the melting ice cream in the freezer. It was clear, I was going to have to defend this place.

If there's one thing I know about vampires, it's that they like blood. So, I killed an intern and set a trap in the hallway. No vampire bit (no pun intended - which is good, cause I'm not 100% sure that was a pun). Perhaps these vampires were smarter than I assumed. Clearly, I was dealing with an advanced being here. I scoured the halls as coworkers talked and played games like school children, which is apparently the M.O. when the power goes out. I checked every office, all the closets and the ladies restroom - no vampires.

I stood guard for over an hour, and I am happy to report, there were zero vampire attacks. I attribute this solely to me. I have billed the company six million dollars.