Emmys Red Carpet

I enjoyed the Emmys last night, in fact, I enjoy the Emmys almost every year. However, what I don't enjoy is the red carpet reporting that takes place for, what seems like, 48 hours in advance.

Let's be honest, the whole point of these 30 second interviews is for the stars to get free clothing. The interview usually goes like this:

So, good to see you darling.

Oh, you too.

So, what are you working on?

Oh, I have this one project blah, blah, blah . . .

And, who are you looking forward to seeing tonight?

[Insert any extremely current, hip star, because you think he/she is great] I just love Jane Lynch. I can't wait to meet her.

You look great, who are you wearing?

Oh, its Versace, and these earrings are Armani.

Okay, a few things: Does Armani make earrings? I have no idea. I am happy about that. Also, in real life, a reportedly straight male (Ryan Seacrest) would never care who made a female's dress. If I asked one of my wife's friends where she got her skirt she would inform my wife of this as soon as I went to the bathroom because it was bizarre. That, or she would slap me. So, it is clear the point of this question is to simply get the celebrity their little 5-second endorsement, thus fulfilling their promise to the designer.

Yet, the thing about this I find more annoying than anything else is simply the question: Who are you wearing tonight?

Here is the response I would give if I was a female celebrity:

Um, actually, it's a dress, not a human being. I did not kill someone and stitch their body into a garment - cause that's sick. If you are asking me, "Who's dress am I wearing tonight?" I would respond and say, "Mine," because I am a celebrity and I am difficult. But, if you are asking me, "Who designed the dress I am wearing tonight?" Well, then I would supply the answer you are looking for. As of right now, you are frankly using an incorrect pronoun. But, as of right now, I will respond to your question justly: A blue dress. I am wearing a blue dress tonight. Why am I wearing a blue dress? Because, it brings out my eyes, that's why. . . Now, please stop staring at my breasts.