Wednesday, August 4, 2010

An Open Letter To Google

Dear Google,

I am on to you.

You think you're so clever with your little cutesy, time-sensitive logos, but I know what you are really up to - world domination. Oh, what do I mean? You know exactly what I mean! Let me ask you a question: How do you get to your website? That's right, you go to But, that's not the only way to get there, is it Google?

That's right, you failed to mention, you can get to by typing or any other misspelling of a word you made-up. Yeah, but that's just to help you, since you obviously were trying to get to Google. Well, maybe I thought that is how you spell goggles, and I was trying to get the foremost authority on well made swimming eyewear. Oh, that's a stretch, huh?! Try this one on for size: I go to for updates on Rutgers sports, yet if I spell 'scarlet' wrong where do I go - Google.

Even if I wanted to go to Ask Jeeves, a competing search engine, if I spell it wrong, guess who has a suggestion for me: Google.

Now, that you control the Internet, what's next? Our military? (Huge, unreasonable leap) Maybe, you plan on entering our dreams and stealing our ideas, just like that movie that is out now: Cats and Dogs - The Revenge of Kitty Galore. Whatever your plans are, I won't rest until I put an end to them (not actively trying to stop you).


PS - I accidentally deleted something from my Gmail account, and was hoping you could help me out. No rush, but if you have a chance that would be super.


Toni Ryan said...

ok. here's the thing, Newms. Google has already taken over the world. It happened way before man existed. in fact, sometime in the far future, google actually *runs out of space*. to continue making the world go 'round, it basically typed "the beginning" into its own search box and hit "i feel lucky" and now the whole history of the world is playing over again. the first time, it did a better job of disguising its presence in the world, hiding in plain sight as "libraries".

pretty damn clever, right?

Rockin Rita said...

What a brilliant blog! And Toni, what a great comment. I always wanted to know how the world began! haha

Newman said...

Toni, consider my mind blown