Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Red Hot Abs

For years people have been doing crunches, cutting carbs and logging serious hours on the treadmill in hopes of gaining that ever elusive six-pack. I know, I'm one of them. I try to eat somewhat right and hit the gym, but you quickly realize getting abs of steal is incredibly difficult. . . or so I thought.

What I found this weekend was I could get a six-pack in about 45 minutes, and guess what - so can you! Not only can you get them in under an hour, but they'll be BRIGHT RED which is sure to get the ladies attention!!

So, here's what you do: First, be incredibly pale (sorry, tanny's, this trick only works for us oft-confused for vampire folk.) Next, head to the beach. Once you are at the beach open up your chair, remove your shirt, and, this is important, do NOT put on sunscreen.

Ok, so far so good, now, sit in the chair and read a book, but due to the fact that you have left your sunglasses at home you'll have to lean over the book while you read so the sun doesn't bother your eyes. What you are accomplishing here is causing a crease to form by your belly-button and upper abdomen.

After, you've been reading for 20-30 minutes, plug in your iPod and relax while listening to some tunes. Now, and this is very important as well, make sure the cord from your headphones falls right down the middle of your body, this is easily achieved by resting your mp3 player on your crotch. Rest for 15 minutes then go home.

The next day, if you are lucky, you will wake up like me, with red hot abs! Yup, abs outlined by white lines of unburned skin. But be prepared for the ladies to flock to you like seagulls flocking to small child holding a sandwich on the beach.

Most of the burn has faded, but you can still get a pretty good idea here:

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