Newman's Big Night of Adventure

Don't let this picture fool you, my adventure had nothing to do with soaring through the a Mark Rothko-esque morning sky. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Why then did you put that picture up on this blog post?" And, my answer to that is: It's 5am.

My adventure began last night when I decided to check into a hotel to make my trip to work this morning feasible. It was about 5pm and the roads were pretty terrible. The kind of terrible where everyone actually has both hands on their steering wheel and hunches over it like an 80 year old. So, after getting to the hotel (a trip which took about an hour) my wife and I check in and decide to go get dinner at the restaurant in the hotel: Closed.

This, to be fair, was to be expected. It was a blizzard and there were not many people staying at the hotel. So, we decide to walk down Route 1 to the next restaurant. I would like to reiterate - walk down Route 1, the only description I could give the feeling of doing this would be 'post-apocalyptic.' Closed.

Okay, one last place we can try - a fast food place. I assume if anyone is going to be open it's these guys. Walk down Route 1 a but further. Closed. The food I have back at the hotel is an apple. That's not a dinner. Walk all the way back to the hotel in the blizzard and call up another hotel to see if they have an open restaurant. They do. Awesome. Book a room and head over. The trip is literally over and overpass. It takes 45 minutes.

Check into new hotel. Get into room and it's freezing. Freezing to the point where I was sure the window was broken or I was in one of those new-age ice hotels where everything is made of ice and people pretend it's a good time. I crank the heat and wait about 15 minutes to see if the room will get warm and, I'm not sure this was possible but, I think it actually got colder. I call the front desk and they tell me they'll send the maintenance guy immediately. Now, when I use the word 'immediately,' I usually use it the way it is defined in the dictionary. However, I believe this hotel has another definition of 'immediately' that I was unaware of.

After waiting for about 20-25 minutes I call back. They forgot to tell maintenance. Awesome. They send them up and the guy works on the heat for about 20 minutes. I would have switched rooms earlier, but I had unpacked and was already in my "comfy clothes" (my underwear). Maintenance can't fix the heat so they put us up in a new room.

This whole process took about four hours, but there is a happy ending: I got to kick back and watch the Eagles game . . . what do you mean 'postponed?!'