Monday, July 11, 2011

Alcohol SHOULD Taste Bad

Chris was talking on-air this morning about her new favorite beverage - Adult Chocolate Milk. The basic premise of this drink is that it tastes like chocolate milk while being 40 proof. Most people would view this as a good thing; I would not.

I have long had a theory (just made it up) that alcohol should taste bad. We have worked so hard to create drinks that taste like they don't have alcohol in them that we are missing the point in the revolting taste. That initial dry-heave after a shot of warm whiskey is your brain saying, "Hey, if you wanna do this, go for it, but it's not going to be pretty."

I require that. I can't sit there with a bottle of Adult Chocolate Milk and not get lampshade on my head wasted. I would enjoy the taste too much. It's like if you got drunk off delicious lasagna - knowing you're going to be peeing in a hamper later doesn't make it easier to stop eating something so good.

I say give me bottom-shelf tequila that was in the trunk of an overheated car for the last hour. If I'm going to get drunk at least I've been warned.

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