A Letter To The Guy Talking On His Bluetooth Headset

Dear Wallstreet (That's Your New Nickname):

Oh, this is great - I am the one who looks stupid! I suppose I was supposed to know you were talking to a tiny piece of plastic attached to your head? I'm sorry, but when someone looks right at me and says, "Hello" I try to respond with a pleasant, "Hey, how's it going?" But NO, apparently you're talking to your Star Trek prop. Oh, everyone walking down Nassau Street near us had a good laugh about that one! "Look at that guy, he thinks he's being talked to!"

Just keep walking and talking about subprime mortgages, investment porfolios and other words I didn't even know I knew til I just wrote them. I'll just be the crazy guy talking into thin air getting laughed at by bystanders and I believe one small child. You're lucky I don't taser you.

So, Wallstreet, you've embarrassed me for the last time. Watch out, cause next time I see you, you'll be like The Dow Jones Industrial Average . . . Going down!

Newman