A Letter To The Truck Driver Who Gave Me The Finger On Route 1 The Other Day

Dear Sir:

Oh, the finger, that's orginal! You think just cause you are driving a huge truck you can give people the finger? Oh, I guess it's my fault for cutting you off without a blinker because I almost missed my exit. Right. Listen buddy, you don't want to mess with me. I am 200 pounds of raw steel . . . actually no . . . steel is 200 pounds of raw Newman, that's how strong I am. I will rip that middle finger right off. Then lets see you give someone the finger, you'll look like you are trying to rock out but can't get your ring finger down. What's that Mr. Trucker? I drive a little girly car. Oh no you didn't girlfriend! This car is a chick magnet when I'm cruising through Plaisnboro. In closing, don't let me catch you around these parts again. Otherwise I'll do what I did to you yesterday: Pretend I don't see you and drive away quickly.

Newman