Thursday, January 8, 2009

Sad Day For My Television Remote

Tis a sad day my friends, my television remote may be done for. Actually, the entire remote isn't done for, just one button, but that one button happens to be my favorite and most used one. I simply cannot use the remote ('clicker' for you people who choose to call this device by the wrong name) without this button. The button is the'LAST' button and it's on life-support.

The LAST feature is the greatest thing to happen to the TV remote since MUTE ("WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU . . . NO, I CAN'T MUTE THE TELEVISION THEY DON'T HAVE THAT TECHNOLOGY YET.) If you are like me you can't watch just one show at a time (and you often getting shooting pains in your left calf). I need to be able to just hit LAST to flip back to Television Program B. If I am watching a football game and it goes to commercials and there happens to be an episode of 'Bromance' on MTV, what am I going to do, type in 0-5-8 and then wait for the channel to change, or simply hit LAST? Easy answer.

The problem is I must have used the LAST button too much and now it is no longer functioning. The word LAST has also faded and now it is just a red button (Luckily, I have the layout of my TV remote memorized, thus avoiding any complications of a wordless button). Now, the button doesn't return me to my last channel, it just kind of gets stuck down. I know what you're thinking, and yes, I already tried smashing it against the wall . . . no change.

So, I may need a new remote. I am thinking about one of those giant remotes for old people, with the buttons the size of salad plates. That way I could glue it to my coffee table and change channels with my foot, thus eliminating the hassle of raising my arm and pointing at the TV to switch stations. But, until then, I am stuck like my poor LAST button.

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