Monday, January 5, 2009

My New Invention

They say the most brilliant inventions are born out of simple problem solving ideas. It was dark - Edison gave us light. We needed email - Al Gore gave us the internet. Now, you can add me to the list of people who gave back to the community with an ingenious invention . . . kind of. Here's the thing, I can't actually make my invention, it is only an idea. . . but what an idea!!

Just like these other great minds, I have a very simple story that I will tell whenever someone asks me how I came up with my invention (which I assume will be quite frequent, but never annoying, because I plan on being an accessible celebrity). "So, Newman what is this marvelous product and how did you come up with it?" Well, funny you should ask random internet blog:

It all started with a scary looking homeless man (see already my story is better than those other inventors). I was stopped at a light in a seedy area of town when I noticed said scary homeless man walking along the sidewalk towards my car. Perhaps, at this point I should say he was most likely not homeless, just a man with a grizzly beard and old tshirt, but I am easliy frightened (like a timid mouse . . . an adorable timid mouse). So, as this guy was getting close to my car I casually locked my doors. CLICK CLICK, CLICK CLICK! (My car is only a 2-door so it was only two clicking noises, but obviously a 4-door would be infinitely louder . . . ok, not infinitely, about double . . . ok, no about double, exactly double). Anyway, he definitely heard it. Real embarrassing. I assume he looked at me after he heard the doors lock, but I don't know because I was too busy acting like I was flipping through my radio.

So, my invention: Silent locking doors. This will prevent situations like this from occuring. Yes, this seems like a really simple problem, maybe even a stupid one. . .ok, not maybe, definitel, but these are the scenarios brilliant ideas are formed from.

They will cost $14,000.

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