Thursday, February 19, 2009

How to Help Save the World

Books aren't cool. I know this because I read books and the majority of the things I do are not cool (except for watching '30 Rock'). However, it dawned on me recently that there is another reason why books aren't cool - They are killing the Earth. I am a fan of Earth, it's one of my top 3 favorite planets, so I have devised a way we can keep the Earth and keep reading books.

People say that because we print so many books we kill acres of trees and slowly kill the planet, but if you are like me, reading off a computer or a Kindle does not deliver the same feeling as reading from a book. So, here is my plan to keep books and our some of our trees: Stop printing the first 75 pages of every book. These pages are pointless. The stupid description flap you read to decide whether the book is worth buying TELLS YOU EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS IN THE FIRST 75 PAGES BEFORE YOU READ THEM?!?

The main character of the book I am reading now is named Edgar. In the book, Edgar's father dies. His father dies on about page 70. The description flap reads, "Edgar, a mute boy, deals with the hardships of life on the farm after his father passes away." From the book flap you may have thought Edgar's dad would be dead when the book started, or maybe within the first chapter. No, he is alive and kickin' for 50+ pages. Well, thanks book flap!

So, by eliminating the first 75-100 pages of every book printed we can save the trees and thus save the Earth. I predict, if we do not do this, we will be forced to inhabit Mars (by far my least favorite planet - underground water? That's not very convenient).

Me>Al Gore

2 comments:

Em Moon said...

that wouldn't happen to be Edgar Sawtelle, would it?? haven't read it yet.

Newman said...

It is. I am about 300 pages in. It's good but, so far, overhyped.