Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Newman Endorses #4: Not Eating Jujubes

In the most recent issue of Esquire magazine Chris Jones endorses eating Jujubes. This is single-handedly the worst piece of advice I have ever heard. I have never understood why anyone would want to eat a jujube. When I want candy I don't want it accompanied by the fear of losing my teeth. Eating a jujube is a lot like eating a piece of gum, if that piece of gum was made with super-glue. The taste of a jujube is similar to the taste of a jelly bean but a jelly bean won't rip your molars out. Which begs the question: If jujubes are like dangerous jelly beans, why would I not just eat jelly beans? It is like having two surfboards to choose from to surf in possibly shark-infested waters, and choosing the one made of skirt steak (worst analogy ever.) This is why I endorse NOT eating jujubes.

1 comment:

Miss Mary said...

It would seem to me that you answered your own question. It is the rush; we are an adrenaline addicted society. How often do you get to indulge in candy and feel the rush of possible endangerment to your enamel? To perhaps build on your analogy with a simile... it is like surfing the 20 ft swells instead of the baby waves.