Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Enough With The British Kids!

I have a confession to make: I don't like all children.

I know that disliking children is kind of a social faux pas but really I can't help it - I just don't like British children. It's not their fault, it's just they sound so much smarter than me. And no offense to you, but they sound smarter than you too (unless you are actually a British child reading this blog, in which case I am surprised this is not too low-brow for you).

No matter who you matchup a British child against in a "Who Sounds Smarter" contest - a contest I assume is not frequently run - the little brat, I mean Brit, will always win. That's right Einstein, Pip sounds smarter than you!

In fact, if you ask a British kid what 2 + 2 is and he answers 5, you will have to accept that 5 is the new answer to that question. If Einstein asked what does E stand for in E=MC(squared) and the English kid said, "Boogers" you would now have to assume that by multiplying the mass of something by the speed of light squared you would be able to determine the amount of boogers an object has.

It is just not fair that at 2 years old a British kid already sounds smarter than me, that is why I don't like them, though I am probably just jealous.

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