The BT Club

As my wife and I sat watching Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution on our fantastic new 55" TV the other night she turned to me and said, "I, I just don't know where to look on the screen" . . . Sweetest thing I've ever heard. I choked back tears of joy, but sometimes it's better to just let them come.

Having had this 55" TV for a few weeks now, I have to tell you, it's incredible. I'm talking life-changing, I used to be blind but now I can see incredible. In fact, there are certain things that you can only appreciate when you have a large television. Which is why I am starting the BT Club (Big Television Club.) It is for those of us who can experience the joys of large-scale TV watching. You can apply by emails me: Newman@wpst.com. Just include your name, email address and screen-size. We'll talk about things like: How much better 3-D will be for us than everyone else (Normies), the stars who wear the most makeup and the size of Giada De Laurentiis' head (barely fits on my screen.) Other topics will include shows that are on each week that will look especially good on our large televisions. We will also hold pancake breakfasts. NO UNDER 50" NEED APPLY!

There is one thing however that I don't like about having such an enormous entertainment box - I just can't watch other TV's any more they just seem so small! It's like when you first got HD, you just couldn't watch standard definition channels. A 42" set now looks minute. That said, I wouldn't trade it for the world.