Thursday, May 6, 2010

My One Issue With Justin Bieber

Ok, so, I have an issue with Justin Bieber.

Oh look, two new death threat emails! Eat your heart out Kim Kardashian.

Now, before you go crazy on me Bieber Fans, let me explain. It's not his talent level, his stardom or the fact that he most likely owns a nicer car than I do despite his inability to drive, no, it's his hair. I NEED to comb it!

Did you ever miss a phone call while you're watching TV? You decide to check who called after the show is over, but in reality, you can't pay attention to the show anymore because you HAVE to go and see who it was? Well, that's how I feel about Justin Bieber's hair. (Possible worst analogy ever)

Kind of like how your mom used to lick her hand and straighten out your hair, that's what I want to do to Justin Bieber (minus actually putting my licked in another man's hair.) Is this quasi-A.D.D.? Maybe, but I just can't watch a video with him without needing to clear it from his face. Here is an example of what I hear when he sings (the monotonous voice in my head is in parentheses):

And now I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo (please fix your hair)
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo (it's driving me insane)
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo (how do you go swimming?)
I thought you'd always be mine (mine) (just one meet-and-great and a pair of clippers, that's all I need)


doreen said...

He reminds me of Adam Rich from Eight is Enough.

Toni Ryan said...

omg, that adam rich comment made me nearly pee myself. it's like he wanted a big dramatic big jerseyesque wall of hair ... so he combed it all forward... and then simply forgot what he was doing. it's like a forward comb-over, whatever this look is that he's rockin' here.

personally, forget the comb, shave it all off, kid.

Nikki said...

I can't get over the fact that he looks like Dani, the butch lesbian from A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila. Here's a photo for reference:

Monique said...

Newman, I'm rolling over your side lyrics! I don't know the song (never even heard of this 4 year old "pop star" until his local concert date was announced) but if they do a new version of it with your side lyrics, I would gladly purchase! Thanks for the laugh! :)